Change. It has the power to uplift, to heal, to stimulate, surprise, open new doors, bring fresh experience and create excitement in life. Certainly it is worth the risk.  Dr. Felice Leonardo Buscaglia

Change is an inescapable part of life that we all must experience.  There have been many, many times in my life when I have faced the issue of making a change and wished that I didn't.   Sometimes change has meant a physical move, perhaps a new way of looking at certain cherished beliefs, leaving people behind,  changing jobs or other critical issues.  I have learned by experience that if I let go of my fear and resistance and look for a new door of opportunity to open that is exactly what happens regardless of the trauma involved.  Major changes especially are really scary for all of us but the fresh experiences that can unfold  if we surrender to the process can be very rewarding indeed.

tomdurst1@msn.com

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"The measurement of life by solar years robs youth and gives ugliness to age. The radiant sun of virtue and truth coexists with being. Manhood is its eternal noon, undimmed by a declining sun. As the physical and material, the transient sense of beauty fades, the radiance of Spirit should dawn upon the enraptured sense with bright and imperishable glories.

"Never record ages. Chronological data are no part of the vast forever. Time-tables of birth and death are so many conspiracies against manhood and womanhood. Except for the error of measuring and limiting all that is good and beautiful, man would enjoy more than threescore years and ten and still maintain his vigor, freshness, and promise. Man, governed by immortal Mind, is always beautiful and grand. Each succeeding year unfolds wisdom, beauty, and holiness.

"Life is eternal. We should find this out, and begin the demonstration thereof. Life and goodness are immortal. Let us then shape our views of existence into loveliness, freshness, and continuity, rather than into age and blight."  Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, p.  246

I notice in the locker room at the Fitness Club that I use one of the most popular subjects among the men is how old and infirm they are getting.  They go on and on with morbid conversations about decay and aging.  I shut as much this out as possible.  Recently I had the opportunity to point out to one man next to me that the more he talked about aging and infirmities the more he experienced of these very things.  He really was open to receive what I said and expressed appreciation.

I choose to dwell on my eternal connection to the Creator God in whom I live, move, and have my being (Acts 17:28).  Paul is quoting a universal truth from Greek philosophers in this instance.  We are ever in God's image and likeness and NOTHING can change that!  Our physical bodies will sooner or later be set aside for something better.  Don't confuse your physical body with your true existence as a spiritual being which is ever perfect and ageless.  Let's not dwell upon morbid things like aging and sickness but instead dwell upon the beauty of Soul and the spiritual qualities that are eternal and our body will reflect health and beauty as we imprint upon it images of truth.

To read additional articles on the topic of Aging and Spirituality click on the link below:

http://www.spirituality.com/framework/search_redirect.jhtml?queryText=aging&x=14&y=16

tomdurst1@msn.com
 

Getting feedback is sometimes the only way to discover our blind spots, especially when that feedback stings.  Whether it's meant to be mean or helpful, feedback has a way of getting us to look at things we don't want to see.  If we resent it or close our ears, our blind spots will never be revealed.  Pema Chodron, NO TIME TO LOSE, p. 143

I well remember in my younger more impetuous years that my mother would share things with me about myself and my behavior that I didn't want to hear but in my heart I always knew that her love for me was great.  Sometimes I listened and other times I went my stupid way and suffered the consequences thereof.

So the next time you get some feedback from someone that isn't flattering instead of getting all huffy and defending yourself stop and think!  You just might learn something about yourself that you need to know and make necessary corrections and become a better person.

We should be cautious and sparing in giving feedback to others but at times if we point out something in love and gentleness we can make a difference in that person's life.

tomdurst1@msn.com

[I encourage you to LEAVE A COMMENT.  TD] 

Basically, disappointment, embarrassment, and all these places where we just cannot feel good are a sort of death.  We've just lost our ground completely; we are unable to hold it together and feel that we're on top of things.  Rather than realizing that it takes death for there to be birth, we just fight against the fear of death.

Reaching our limit is not some kind of punishment.  It's actually a sign of health that, when we meet the place where we are about to die, we feel fear and trembling.  A further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us.  Things like disappointment and anxiety are messengers telling us that we're about to go into unknown territory.

Our bedroom closet can be unknown territory for some of us.  For others, it's going into outer space.  What evokes hope and fear for me is different from what bring it up for you.  My aunt reaches her limit when I move a lamp in her living room.  My friend completely loses it when she has to move to a new apartment.  My neighbor is afraid of heights.  It doesn't really matter what causes us to reach our limit.  The point is that sooner or later it happens to all of us.  Pema Chodron, WHEN THINGS FALL APART: HEART ADVICE FOR DIFFICULT TIMES, pp. 18, 19

All of us have times when indeed we feel that we have reached our limit and face what appears to be a blank wall and don't know where to turn.  There is no avoiding this for it is simply part of human existence.  Such times are small "deaths" out of which we can be resurrected to better ways of thinking and living.  Most of the time  these "reaching our limit" times are the greatest blessings of life for we are forced to make necessary changes that we would not have made had everything gone along smoothly and according to our plans.

Sometimes we may be so stunned temporarily by the magnitude of the situation that we don't know what to do and we sort of just keep going through the motions of life.  If so, that is exactly what we may need to do until some light appears at the end of the tunnel.  Oftentimes doing everyday things with dedication and mindfulness contain within themselves the seeds of the solutions we need to face the huge challenges of life.  We may think something big and spectacular is needed when actually the best guidance is to really focus more on our everyday life, look for ways to enjoy it more fully, and just watch how positive things begin to unfold which most of the time is a slow process rather than something really unusual and dynamic.

tomdurst1@msn.com

http://advaita.proboards51.com/index.cgi

[I encourage you to LEAVE A COMMENT by clicking on the link below.  If you wish to be on my regular email list send me an email at my address as above.  TD] 

Some people find it helpful to do a lot of introspection to keep track of what is going on inside of them.  Usually journaling is an important part of this process.  For some reason this approach has never seemed to work well for me.

My approach is to seek to maintain a continuing level of alertness so that when negativity arises I will recognize it and deal with it appropriately.  Recently I was at the super market and felt irritation start to arise because of the checkout situation.  I recognized the negative feelings right away and decided not to give them power over me.  I simply chose to LET THEM GO and they dissipated quickly and a sense of peace arose from within to replace them.  I used this as an opportunity to learn how to use the self checkout option which I normally wouldn't use simply because it is unfamiliar to me.  A kind clerk helped me through the process.  The result?  I moved into a new experience and left the super market feeling good about that as well as feeling peaceful.

I think it a mistake to deny it when negative feelings arise and it is equally a mistake to let them have power over us.  The more we mature spiritually the more alert we become to the negativity that is simply part of our human condition.   The best approach is to recognize the temptation to become irritated or angry and do whatever is necessary to meet it whether it be simply taking a deep breath, counting to ten, asking for help in prayer or in some more complex cases we may need help from a trusted friend or professional person.

The admonition of our Lord to "watch and pray' is really important in the spiritual journey.  That old 'self-centered" nature can arise unexpectedly.  We can take authority over it by the power that has been given to us to overcome  (see 1 John 4:4).  
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As you begin to transform your own inner pain, you also transform other people's anger and hatred into flowers.  You soon see that arrows shot at you come out of other people's pain.  You do not feel injured by their arrows or actions; instead, you have only compassion.  Your compassion transforms the speech and actions of the other person.  Together these practices provide real self-protection, which is necessary before we can protect others.  Creating True Peace by Thich Nhat Hahn, p. 15

When people talk about you, now you know they are talking about a secondary character in their story who represents you.  They are talking about an IMAGE they create for you.  You know that it has nothing to do with you.........  But if you agree, if you BELIEVE what they say, then their story becomes a part of your story.  If you take it personally, it modifies your story.  If you don't take it personally, the opinions of others do not affect you the way they used to, and you have more patience with people..  This helps you to avoid a great deal of conflict.  The Voice of Knowledge by Miguel Ruiz with Janet Mills, p. 95
 
When we are tempted to take things personally when a person says hurtful things either to us directly or about us to others we can relax and open our hearts to the possibility that this is being done out of this person's inner pain and we need not impose any story of judgment whatsoever.  Most of the time the things people say about us are merely their story of pain which they are projecting unto another person.  Instead of getting angry we can send thoughts of love and healing to he/she that is saying mean things about us.  If we have done something to contribute to that person's pain then we need to take whatever steps we can to make amends.  In no case is it appropriate to return evil for evil but rather to overcome evil with good which can be expressed in a wide variety of ways. 

If we have deep inner fulfillment we will have no need to take things personally.  If we find ourselves feeling the need to be self-defensive then this is a call to heart searching and appropriate introspection.

tomdurst1@msn.com

I invite you to read OUR TRUE SELF which you'll find at the top of the link directly below:

http://advaita.proboards51.com/index.cgi?board=treasures

Speaking and listening with compassion are the essential practices of nonviolent communication.  Mindful communication means to be aware of what we are saying and to use conscious, loving speech.  It also means listening deeply to the other person to hear what is being said and what is not being said.  We can use these methods in any situation, at any time, wherever we are.  Creating True Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh, p. 21

We all have wounds inside our hearts, and we all need someone who can listen mindfully to understand our suffering.  Ibid, p. 149

You've spent years learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak.  What about listening?  What training have you had that enables you to listen so that you really understand another human being from that individual's frame of reference?

We typically seek first to be understood.  Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.  They're either speaking or preparing to speak.  They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiographies into other people's lives.

In contrast, Empathic Listening gets inside another person's frame of reference.  You see the world the way he or she sees it, you understand how he or she feels.  This does not mean that you agree necessarily, simply that you understand his or her point of view.

 Selected from a pamphlet which accompanied cassettes presenting THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE: POWERFUL LESSONS IN PERSONAL CHANGE by Stephen R. Covey

I will have to admit that I have to struggle continually to learn how to really listen to others.  I find myself wanting "to reply" with some thoughts of my own rather than really seeking to understand the heart of the other person.  My ego wants to be understood more than to seek to understand others.  I am committed to become a better servant by being a much better listener. 

We meet people everyday in the ordinary pursuits of life who desperately need someone to listen to them.  A lot of times anti-social behavior occurs simply because the person needs attention and this seems to be the only way of getting it.  I really noticed this when I was teaching school.

When folks will spend $200/hour to go to a professional therapist who spends most of the time merely listening that should tell us something about the great needs that are all around us. What a blessing we could all be if we would really seek to grow in the area of Empathic Listening. 

Is anyone out there in cyberspace LISTENING?

tomdurst1@msn.com

[I encourage you to LEAVE A COMMENT by clicking on the link below.  TD]

"When we resist transformation and want to live in the past, we are still living in the present moment, but we are focused in a past dream.  By focusing our attention in a past dream, our attention is not in the present, and we are not fully alive."  The Four Agreements Companion Book by Don Miguel Ruiz with Janet Mills, p. 122

I am not tempted to dwell upon the unpleasant things of the past all that much but I often find myself wanting to focus on the pleasant, happy memories of the past.  I find myself nostalgically thinking about the "good old days" when things seemed to be a lot better than they are now. 

I have photographs that I've preserved from my earliest childhood years of the 1940s and when I look at them they bring back a flood of mostly happy memories.  However, if I reflect carefully I would have to admit that even the "good old days" were laced with a lot of suffering and anxiety about many things that are now over with and I'm glad of it.  Whether pleasant or unpleasant the past is still a dream that is finished.  That dream has no more power over us than we choose to give it. 

I can see that dwelling upon even the happy things of the past is hindering my ability to live fully in the present, to enjoy every good thing and the wonderful people that are in my life right now.  So I see the need for discipline in order to be "fully alive" each day and to put as much positive energy into everyday living as I possibly can.

tomdurst1@msn.com

[If you wish to be on my personal email list just write me at the address above.  I encourage you to POST A COMMENT on the icon below and encourage other people in their journey of life.  TD]

"Just like hell, heaven is a place that exists within our mind.  It is a place of joy, a place where we are happy, where we are free to love and to be who we really are.  We can reach heaven while we are alive; we don't have to wait until we die."  The Four Agreements Companion book by Don Migue Ruiz with Janet Milles, p. 103

There are many beliefs about heaven and hell and just where we will go in the afterlife.  We need to think about the afterlife for this can give perspective to our present life.  However, I think it is wise to primarily  concentrate every moment of every day on the simple fact that we create our own heaven or hell by our attitudes towards life right now.  Everyday we face challenges, problems, and disappointments as well as times of joy and fulfillment.  We have to continually make the choice of experiencing heaven or hell by the way we relate to people and to the circumstances of our daily lives.  We can choose to emphasize the good and the positive things or we can dwell on the negative and thus bring suffering upon ourselves and others.  The choice is always there.
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I find the series of FOUR AGREEMENTS books by Miguel Ruiz to be very wonderful and practical for relating to everyday issues.  These books are available through most public libraries as well as all book seller channels.  I highly recommend them.  For more information go to the link below:

http://www.miguelruiz.com/

[I have a personal email list for those who write to me and request to be added.  TD]

tomdurst1@msn.com

"All works of love are works of peace.  If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."  Mother Theresa

Works of love bring peace for when we express love in any form, however simple it may be, we are acting in harmony with who we really are--spiritual beings in God's image and likeness.  I believe that the ultimate Kingdom of God is absolute peace, joy, and love without so much as a ripple.  That Kingdom is already in and around all of us but seldom discerned.  Experience the power of the words of Jesus:

"Asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He replied to them by saying, The kingdom of God does not come with signs to be observed or with visible display, nor will people say, Look! Here [it is]! or, See, [it is] there! For behold, the kingdom of God is within you [in your hearts] and among you [surrounding you]."  Luke 17:20, 21 (Amplified Bible)

Jesus preached and taught the PRESENT REALITY of the Kingdom of God.  Few discerned it then as is still the case even to this very day.  We need to pray for eyes to see and ears to hear to experience the Kingdom of God which will bring Heaven into our lives and those of everyone that we touch. 

Love, joy, and peace all go together.  Bringing joy to a world full of sadness is an act of love that brings peace along with it. 

You may meet a person who is experiencing difficult times and is very sad....  You can smile, give a hug, speak a kind word, or perhaps even say or do something humorous that will help to transform sadness into joy, if only for that moment.  This will bring some peace into the life of this suffering person.  The ripple effects of acts of love spread everywhere because we do indeed belong to one another as Mother Theresa points out so well in her words quoted above.  Oh, if we only could grasp with even more depth what it means to belong to one another what a difference that would make in our daily lives!  When we share love and peace with others we are indeed blessing ourselves at the same time.   

I seek to be focused on works of love and peace in every way that I possibly can. Would you like to join me in doing this?

[I always appreciate hearing from readers.  I also have a personal email list for those who send me an email and ask to be added.  TD]

tomdurst1@msn.com

http://www.near-death.com/experiences/experts05.html