tomdurst

11:18 am May 20th, 2012




			tomdurst

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do

is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you

are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't

be the victim of needless suffering. Miguel Ruiz

I find it always tempting to attribute motives to the things that people do or don't do. Most of the time people are simply living as best as they know how and this may or may not include me. I can interpret neglect or some other form of behavior in a very wrong way if I'm not careful. Our lives need not be driven by what others are doing or how we perceive them. We have no idea of the struggles that someone is going through and so it is wise to remember this. At best we can only go by the outward appearance which is never accurate. We would all find much more peace if we would let go of the temptation to be constantly judging and wanting to control others, even in a small degree.

I invite you to read GOD IS--WE ARE which you'll find on the link below:

http://www.tomdurst.com/journey15godis.shtml

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DEALING WITH CONFLICT

Conflict cannot survive without your participation.
Wayne Dyer

The temptation to engage in conflict is great and there is an enormous amount of ego involved for we are so often tempted to "prove a point," justify our behavior, or we may even have a desire whether conscious or subconscious to attack or lessen the value of someone else. If we are right there is no need to defend ourselves and in no case should we even entertain the slightest desire to be less than kind and loving towards another, even when we do not agree with or wish to condone their behavior. We can ask for wisdom and learn to handle challenging situations in ways that are healing instead of ego-based (see Galatians 2:20; James 1:5; James 3:17).

I invite you to read A FRAGRANCE OF LIFE. Click on the link below:

http://www.tomdurst.com/journey13fragrance.shtml


	THE NEED FOR DAILY WISDOM
	THE NEED FOR DAILY WISDOM We often see in people we love and want to be close to things that we wish were different, perhaps things that seem to be even destructive to us. There may be times when we may need to peacefully let that person go but this needs to be done without thoughts of condemnation and judgment for this will not bring healing and healing should always be our primary concern. Perhaps it may be appropriate to share something or do something about the issue if the way is clearly open to do so. Other times the best way is to continue to be by that person's side, love unconditionally and not entertain even any thoughts that we must correct what we perceive to be wrong or change the person to meet our preferences or expectations. Only God can give us the wisdom to know what is best and it is our privilege to ask for such and it will be given (see James 1:5). If we are entertaining thoughts that we must correct or want to control, the other person will sense it and this will create a wall between you. Relationships are a daily challenge for all of us. Truly we need the wisdom from above. Condemn none: if you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way.--Swami Vivekananda READ GEMS OF TRUTH, MY PERSONAL TESTIMONY, AND OTHER ARTICLES ON THE LINK BELOW: http://www.tomdurst.com/


	SEEING AS WE ARE
	As a man is, so he sees. As the eye is formed, such are its powers. William Blake We tend to see people, our surroundings, everything we read, and everything else in life through our own personal perspectives and biases. There really is no such thing as being truly "objective." Even our criteria for deciding what is "objective" are always in reality very "subjective" and we simply can't help that but it is helpful to recognize this in ourselves so we can be more understanding and tolerant of other viewpoints which vary considerably from ours. The other person is also seeing things that his/her eyes allow. Taking into consideration the differences in people's backgrounds and cultures is an important lesson to learn. Much foolish arguing and trying to change people's minds could be avoided just by doing this. Most of the time I think that plain old fashioned common sense would solve most conflicts but who ever thinks of that? Tom http://advaita.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=gemsoftruth tomdurst1@msn.com

BEAUTY AND JOY ETERNAL

A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness. John Keats

The outward form of flowers, mountains, sunsets and everything around us that reflect beauty and bring joy will sooner or later change and pass away but the spiritual qualities of beauty and joy will be in our consciousness forever. Let us not fixate on the form but rather cherish the quality of beauty itself and then we can see it wherever we go in all things and all people. Let's do everything we can to bring more beauty and joy to our world.

http://advaita.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=newestthreads

tomdurst1@msn.com


	THE WORLD WE SEE
	The world is nothing but my perception of it. I see only through myself. I hear only through the filter of my story. - Byron Katie If we would all remember this very simple principle how much conflict could be avoided. Everything that we see and hear is always filtered through our own private world of thoughts. Those who are wise learn not to tenaciously hang on to every opinion because none of them are perfect, they are always incomplete, and never 100% true. If we keep this in mind then we are not in a position to feel that we must force our ideas upon others or judge them too harshly for viewpoints they have that differ from ours. We most certainly do not have to agree with everything we see and hear for we have a right to maintain our personal integrity but on the other hand we would have far less anxiety and avoid wasting our energies on foolish drama if we would simply learn to "hang loose" about all of our beliefs. Our thoughts can keep us in a lot of bondage if we aren't willing to let them go when growth would indicate a better way. We make up our own private world by our thoughts. It can be a Heaven or hell and a lot of people seem to choose hell. Why not choose Heaven?

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	THE LAST CONVERSATION
	A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship. --Rainer Maria Rilke Sometimes we might have a misunderstanding with a person on a certain occasion and be tempted to terminate the relationship. It is well to hang in there and work through the situation, learn from it what both parties might need to learn, and then move together in having an even stronger relationship than you ever imagined possible. Have you ever been tempted to give up on somebody because of some turmoil that arose between the two of you? tomdurst1@msn.com http://advaita.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=newestthreads


	TURN A LIFE AROUND
	Everyone of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves. --Princess Diana We tend to be very neglectful about letting others know how much we care about them and thus lose many blessings. I find it difficult sometimes to express my caring to another person and I think the reason for this is that my ego stands in the way. Think about how this. Do you ever find it a struggle to tell someone that you love them or care for them? Do you find it difficult to express simple appreciation for even the smallest things that people do? I encourage you to think of some way you could reach out and express caring for someone today. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. -- Leo F. Buscaglia http://advaita.proboards.com/index.cgi


	JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
	Man is too quick at forming conclusions. Edward E. Barnard We so often form conclusions based upon first impressions of a situation or of a person and do not give enough time or thought to whatever might be going on beneath the surface. Oftentimes friendships are ruptured because of this problem. We all struggle with this. It is wise to wait for a period of time before reaching any conclusions and even then to make them with reserve and caution rather than finality because we never know all of the facts about any given situation or person. Even if we have the facts reasonably accurate there is still a lot of judgment necessary on our part to sort through it all, even for ourselves, let alone another person. I find it best to get my exercise doing something physical like walking or going to the gym rather than getting it by jumping to conclusions. http://www.tomdurst.com/


	DEALING WITH THE PAIN OF LIFE
	Pain (any pain--emotional, physical, mental) has a message. The information it has about our life can be remarkably specific, but it usually falls into one of two categories: "We would be more alive if we did more of this," and, "Life would be more lovely if we did less of that." Once we get the pain's message, and follow its advice, the pain goes away. Peter McWilliams, Life 101 I fully recognize the fact that pain and suffering can come to us when it seems like there is nothing in our life to cause it. We have bad things happening to good people and good things happening to bad people. Is life always fair? It would appear not. These inequities are mysteries that thinkers have struggled with probably since human history began. However, it also seems to be the case that we often could lessen the pain of life by doing more of some things and less of others. I've certainly found over the years that when I let go of such things as self-chosen drama, arguments, and judging others and putting labels on them that my emotional and mental pain is diminished considerably. My physical health improves as I discard the negative. I've also found on the positive side that there are many good things that I could replace the negative things with that bring joy to myself and others. As we mature in life we become wiser if we are growing and I find it a challenge everyday of my life to avoid foolish things that bring me pain and choose wonderful life-giving pursuits that I find to make life so much more enjoyable. I invite you to read some of my articles on how you can have a better life which you'll find on the link below: http://advaita.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=relationships